For a while now I have felt a real big distance from God.  It was really hurting me.  I am use to having a close intimate relationship with God.  I didn't know how to fix it.  I was going to church on a regular basis and spending most of my time with upright Christian friends.

Well my church youth group was going to a nearby youth rally.  Everyone from the church had been before.  I will the only newcomer.  I decided to go and thought if nothing else this will be fun to hang out all my friends.

Well we go to the first meeting. The guy asks us to say a prayer with him.  He was basically asking us to strip away all our reason for coming that weekend and pray for God to open our eyes, teach us, and change us.  At first I was like I just want to have fun, but then I took a moment and just listened.  I prayed the prayer.  That weekend was probably the closest I have ever felt with God. 

The whole weekend God just keep whispering into my heart that he hadn't be missing.  He was there the whole time.  I just wasn't searching for him.  I wasn't listening.  I was so caught up with the day to day things that I had to take care of.  I remember one of the speakers or singers quoting a scripture and it really spoke to me.  I don't remember where it was from.  But it basically said that God is speaking but no one is listening.  That just really hit me hard.  God had been trying to speak to me but I just wasn't taking the time to listen. 

How many times has God been trying to talk to me but I refused to listen?  I will never know until I am called up to heaven.  I know when I do find out I will be ashamed cause I know the number is great.  So my goal is to take the time not just to go to church, pray, or read my Bible but to find a time to just be quiet and listen.  I want to immerse myself in God's house, Word, and conversation.  I just want to be in tune with God! 

So from now on I am teaching my to quit talking and just shut up and listen!!!!
 

 

Well I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and just really felt that my relationship with God has taking a backseat to daily life.  For a while it puzzled me.  I have been spending a lot of time at church and with my Christian friends but still felt so distant from God.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Where was my Bible?  I didn’t even know where to look.  I finally found it pushed up under my bed.  When was the last time I opened it?  When was the last time I really took time and talked to God?

" It's not a religion.  It's a relationship."

That has always been my motto.  Well if I didn’t call or spend time with a friend that relationship would be in jeopardy of nonexistence.  It is the same way with my walk with God.  The less time and I spend in God’s word or in prayer the more the relationship decreases.  Even though I know my relationship will never go away, I want it to be intimate relationship. God is my rock and should be apart of my life every day.

So I began to wonder why and when did my relationship become so distant.  And I think it was when I self-consciously began to put God on the back burner.  Not intentionally but somewhere along the way I got catch up in the daily issues of life and forgot about my relationship with God.  

So I am going to intentionally make sure my relationship gets back to where it should be.  I know it won’t happen over night but I know God will show me the way.  I am reaching out and I know He will meet me the rest of the way.  He has always been there for me even when I don’t deserve it (which I never do).

So I just ask that everyone on here keeps me in their prayers as I work on my relationship with God!  Thanks!!    

It seems more and more each year that people complain that Christmas is becoming too commercial.  Well if people would start focusing on the true meaning of Christmas the commercial aspect would disappear.  To me, Christmas has three means.  The first and most important being the birth of Jesus Christ.  The second the time I get to spend with my family and friends.  The three being giving to others.

The celebration of Jesus birth should be the center around everything we do throughout our lives and especially around Christmas.  Without the birth of that special baby, we would all be bound for hell cause we all fallen short of the glory of God.  I think Christ’s birth gets lost a lot of time during Christmas.  You see families fighting, people being depressed, and others going crazy to get certain gifts.  How does that show honor to Christ on his birth?  It should be about sharing in his love, being kind to each other, and just sharing about the things God has blessed us with.

I think the number one thing we all take for granted is our friends and family.  What if for a whole entire week we had no contact with any friends or family?  I don’t know about you but I would go crazy.  My family and friend mean the world to me.  So Christmas time gives me excuse to spend extra time with them and to show them how much they mean to me through gifts.  We should be thankful for our friends and family.  

Another important part of Christmas should be giving back.  Last year I got the opportunity to spend part of my Christmas break in Texas on a mission trip.  I don’t know if any of you have heard of Mission Arlington.  It is a great mission field in Texas built on spreading the kingdom of God.  They have mini churches all through the Arlington, Forth Worth, and Dallas area that meet in tiny apartments.  During the Christmas time, they have a Christmas shop where families can come to get gifts for their family if they cannot afford it.  They tell the Christmas story and thousands are saved every year.  I got to help for a week out there.  It was the hardest work I have ever done.  We were up at eight in the morning and did not quick until three in the morning.  My body hurt all over but it was the most rewarding work.  To give back just seemed to make Christmas that year so much more special.  

This year I won’t be going a mission trip, but I plan to find a way to give back.  We take for granted of everything we have.  There are a lot of people out there that barely have enough to eat at night never mind heat.  They have never had a fancy Christmas that many of us enjoy every year.  So instead of worrying about if you will get what you want for Christmas spend time finding a way to give back.  Donate some clothes that you never wear, volunteer at a local soup kitchen, or donate money to a good Christian organization.  

Christ, family, friends, and giving is the meaning of Christmas to me.  If you aren’t keeping your focus on those things, then you aren’t having a true Christmas.  You need to look into your life and heart and figure out when December 25th turned into something else.  Bring the true meaning of Christmas out this year.  Grow in your relationship with Christ.  Go out and tell or show your friends and family how much they mean to you.  Lastly go out and share what you have with someone that has less cause no matter how little you have there is someone out there that is worst off than you.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas holidays!!!

God is writing my love story

It all began my freshman year of college.  I had been dating a guy for the past four years.  After finding out that he had been cheating on me, that relationship ended.  I felt lost because I had not been single in such a long time.  I began dating different guys just to date but none were really serious.

I had a math class pretty early in the morning my first semester.  I would always get to class early and sit outside with different people.  That is where I meet my now good friend Morgan.  We would talk about just about everything.  Well through her I meet this guy name Jake.  There always seemed to be something different about him.  So I decided to write him to let him know that I liked him.

Well Jake said he liked me too but never really made a effort.  Until the next semester I got an e-mail from him asking me out on a date.  So we went out and had a really good time.  It was my first real date with a nice guy.  The night ended and we both agreed we would like to do it again sometime.  I never did hear from him though which kind of let me down.  So I began to date around.

A good friend of Jake’s name Chad added me on myspace and we would talk about Jake and different things.  I mentioned to him that I really wanted to find a good church to start going to.  So he invited to go to their church High Hill.  Well I decided to go one Wednesday night.  Somehow Jake found out that I was going and asked if he could pick me and my friend up since we really didn’t know where it was.

That is where I found my new church home.  I loved everything about the church.  It is a small church with a fairly big youth group.  Everyone likes to hang out and not just on church nights.  They do a lot together and it seems like a big extended family.  So that is where I started to go to church.

Well even though I was going to church my roommate, Jessica, and me would go out and do things that weren’t right.  We would party, go to clubs and bars, drink from time to time, and such.  I started talking to a guy that I knew wasn’t right for me but I figured I would give him a chance at least.  

One night I went with the youth group to a concert.  I don’t even remember who the band was or what was said but that night something changed instead of me.  It was like God spoke to me and said “What are you doing?  You know this isn’t my plan for your life.  What are you doing wasting your time with guy?  Get out of this situation before you make a mess.”  So that night I decided to step away from that life and start being real.  For so long I had gotten use to not being me and being fake.  I would go to church or put on this good act of happiness when deep down I was hurting.  It wasn’t an easy act.  There were many nights of tears.  Through the help of Jessica and Chad I was able to get through it though.

I decided to step away from that guy and any other guy.  I knew for the time being God wanted me to be alone.  I needed to find my place.  That is when out of the blue God showed me his plan for my life.  No, it didn’t happen over night.  Revealed piece by piece was this amazing plan that just fit in everyway.

As I was building my relationship with God and trying to figure out who the real me was, I began to grow a good friendship with Chad.  I just felt like I could tell him anything.  No matter what I said he understood and didn’t judge me that is what I loved.  I never really thought of him more than a friend until one night a joke between two friends made me think.

Late one night I was out with Jessica and for some reason I started texting Chad.  I knew he and the guys from church were going to the beach in a day or so.  So I texted him to mess with him by saying “Don’t cheat on me while you are at the beach.”  So through about a hour of text messages, I began to realize that the feeling I had for him was stronger than a friendship.  
 
From that point on, we began to talk as more than friends but never did move beyond that for a while.  We had several inside jokes about how he was my Spiderman and I was his Mary Jane.  Our first group date was when we went out with some of the youth group to see Spiderman III.  We just began to have fun and get to know each other a lot better.  

After church on Wednesday nights, we would always sit on the back of his truck and talk for hours.  Things just seemed to click.  We began to really pray and wonder if this is what God wanted for us.  We stayed in the “talking” stage for at least two months.  

One night after church we had our first kiss.  It is something I will never forget.  He asked me if he could kiss me and I said sure.  Then he said he didn’t want it to be awkward which made it awkward.  He is such a dork at times but in a cute way.  I’ve never really had butterflies around a guy the way I do when I am with him.

Well after our first kiss a couple days later on June 4th we became official.  We started our relationship.  I would definitely describe our relationship different because we don’t fuss and argue like a lot of couples.  We just don’t let small stuff get in between us.  We know our relationship is from God and that things will work out.  

For a long time, we had been talking about getting engaged.  Finally we made steps for that to come true.  We went ring shopping and found a perfect ring.  He went and talked to my parents.  And on June 4th, we got engaged.

He had went earlier that day to talk to my parents about it.  After that, he came back to his house where I was waiting to hear the news.  They took everything good so I knew it was a matter of time before he would ask me.  I didn’t know it would be that day though.  We decided before church we would go ride the golf cart together.  After riding for a while, we started for the house to get ready for church.  We were half way to the house when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.  It was that perfect moment.  Everything just seemed right.  The sun was beginning to set and it was very sweet and private.  

Now we are planning a wedding for June 7th.  God is continuing to write our love story.  I know married life won’t always be perfect but I know God has a way for us.  We will survive whatever life throws at us.  This love story will never end.  

I recently found myself debating with some fellow Christians on several topics.  From rape, tattoos, drinking, abortion, you name it.  It has all come out in a debate with me and at least one other person.


Each person is quick to point out the Bible says we should hold each other accountable for our actions.  It also says we should not be judge or we will be judged in that same light.  And that we should not be stumbling blocks to others.


Well if that is the case then we should go around judging other people for having a tattoo, drinking, having abortion, premarital sex, ect.  I do think that if we see a fellow Christian that we are close doing those things we should step up and talk to them about it.  You should never come in a negative way or a "holy than thou" attitude.  Yeah, all those things are wrong but who are we to judge.  We have sinned and fallen short of God's glory.  With Christ, our sins are all equal.


Another thing is you can see non-Christians the same way you do a Christian.  A Christian is someone that has Christ in their heart and tries to follow God's word.  A non-Christian is foolish and does not fully understand the error of their mistakes.  You can expect a non-Christian to behave like a Christian.  Yeah, what they do is just as wrong but isn't it worst to know something against God's will and do it anyway? 


The number one reason why more people don't go to church or hang out with Christian people is because they fear they will be judge.  We all were lost one day and if it wasn't for Jesus reaching out his hand and saying "Come this way I will take you as you are" then we would still be lost.  Jesus hung out with the lowest of low when he was on this earth and accepted them for who they were.  He was perfect and did not judge others for their mistakes.  How come some Christians who are not perfect by no means go around with their nose stuck up in the air?  Who is that going to attract?  How is that sharing Christ's love? 


This is just something that has been on my heart for a while.  Every time I think about how snob some Christians including myself at times act it breaks my heart and I know it breaks God's heart.  When we do that as Christians, we turn other off from Christ without even knowing it. 


So the next time you meet someone that is a little different or on the wrong path of life accept them for who they are.  Look pass all the sin in their life and see the person God see.  See their heart and their hurting.  Share God's love for them by just being there.  No, you don't have to accept or understand their sins.  Just be like "I know you drink, do drugs, had abortion, and whatever else and no I don't agree with that but I can look pass that and love you anyway."  That is what God's love is all about...the ability to look pass faults and still see the good.